Pass the Tissues and Chocolates AKA My Life as an Emotional Female


“Women’s day. Really?” I thought as I swept past the table where people had set up cards and other items to congratulate women on their femininity. I walked by the man trying to hand chocolate to me and continued on to my dorm. On second thought I probably should have grabbed the chocolate. Darn. Yes, I was craving chocolate actually.

I was slightly frustrated, confused, stressed, happy, and depressed as I continued on my way. Oh yes. I was feeling all of those things in some capacity. Oh…right…because I’m a woman?

Gender stereotypes are one of the things that annoy me most in the world. My tomboyish personality certainly doesn’t help in that regard. I have never enjoyed makeup, clothing, or jewelry. I don’t cry when I break a nail. I played ten years of sports in my childhood and spent afternoons playing video games with my brother. So yes, I hate it when people assume something about me just because I am a woman.

However, I think there is sometimes some truth behind stereotypes. Yes I do like chocolate (and should have taken the free one offered to me). Yes I can be crazy emotional at times (as much as I dislike admitting it). And yes I do on certain occasions enjoy being “feminine” and putting on a dress.

So when considering how my gender has affected my writing, I would have to admit that it does play a part.

I have always struggled to write from a male perspective. Though I find it somewhat refreshing and new, it is difficult for me and it is not uncommon for my male characters to be a little too emotional. I also do consider it a success when I make my readers feel something through my reading (and secretly take joy when something makes someone cry). I am emotional and that’s alright. Emotion is simply a part of me and I embrace it and allow my writing to function through the waves of feelings.

Of course beyond emotion I would agree many of my books focus more on relationships than they do action or adventure. I have always enjoyed a good love story over something with explosions. Whether this was conditioned into me or was a part of me from the very start, I don’t know. Regardless I embrace it and use it to define my writing.

Writing does seem to be influenced by gender in some capacity (or at least my own is). So regardless of whether I like my gender stereotypes or not I can’t deny that I do follow a few of the trends.

I am a woman. I like the people around me and desire to feel a sense of connection (especially in writing). I am a bit of a romantic and will choose a love story as my favorite. I am also an emotional mess sometimes…ok…a lot of the time.

There are differences to be sure. These separations in gender make an influence but we choose whether we let them define us (and our writing) or not.

To finish off enjoy this quote from Harry Potter. One of my favorite examples of gender comparisons in film.



Filed under Writing

5 responses to “Pass the Tissues and Chocolates AKA My Life as an Emotional Female

  1. This post was pretty relate-able. Thanks for sharing.

  2. aorchard10

    This was very well written! I enjoyed reading it and found myself laughing at the beginning. I think it’s awesome that you break the social norms of women having to be emotional all the time and extremely feminine. Stereotypes are so annoying because sometimes you just don’t fit into them.

  3. I love your first paragraph! Engaging and funny — and your varied sentence structure drew me in (I guess. I never would’ve noticed that before, but the flow of the sentences did make it fun to read). You make some great points about writing; I think it’d be difficult to encounter a piece of writing in which you could not identify the gender of the writer (though I’m sure they exist). Always love a Harry Potter reference 🙂

  4. Well, it seems you’ve got plenty of comments on this post already, but I suppose one more couldn’t hurt! I enjoyed how you acknowledge how gender has apparently influenced your writing and accept it rather than trying to deny it or fight it. We write out of who we are. To try to change that because its a bit stereotypical will produce bad writing that you won’t enjoy writing and others won’t enjoy reading. If you like writing love stories, you like writing love stories, and that’s good.

  5. Great post! First off, I really enjoyed the range of emotions you show in your post: the raw frustration and sarcasm in the beginning and then the more reflective, honest tone towards the end. I also really liked your approach you took to the prompt and how balanced it was; you blatantly refute some of the stereotypes but also admit that your gender does influence your writing. Nice Job!

Let me know what you think:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s