I Do Not

Decided to give a snippet of fiction after all the other stuff I’ve been posting lately. I’m taking a fiction writing class right now and we had an exercise the other day supposed to help us work on point of view. We were supposed to describe an incident at a wedding from a variety of different viewpoints (a first person peripheral, third person objective, third person limited). Feel free to do this exercise on your own practicing POV, or just using the prompt to get you started on a story or poem. It can be entertaining actually. If you do write one and want to post it, feel free to link back to my blog. I’ll share any response I get. Anyhow, this was my favorite so I’m sharing it here:

I Do Not

Every little girl is supposed to have big and exciting dreams about her wedding. But after being a part of my cousin Allison’s, I’m not so sure I ever want to get married at all.

Before this summer I’d only ever seen weddings in movies. You know, like when Cinderella gets her shoe on and then she’s in the same dress but it’s white with a veil and she rushes off and loses her shoe again. It’s like the same ending to every princess movie ever. Except Frozen, cause mom says it’s progresso-ive.

I mean most of it was ok I guess. Allison got a ring and she cried. And she asked me to be her flower girl and cried. And she got a dress and cried some more. For being a happy occasion she sure didn’t seem very happy, but mom always shushed me when I tried to ask what was wrong.

Allison walked out looking like a white glitter store had exploded. And she and Gerald did the whole long saying promises about stuff like being sick and being healthy and all that cause apparently sometimes when you’re sick people stop wanting to be married so they have to promise to be married anyways. And they did the gross kiss stuff and everybody clapped for some reason.

But it was during the after part- the inception- that everything went really bad. I had wandered over to try to sneak more dessert while my mom was distracted talking to Aunt Judy. And that’s when I saw it. A man in a tux had his hand on Allison’s arm, holding it tighter than you hold a baseball bat. And Allison’s face had gone all tomato soup colored like mine does when I say something I’m not supposed to.

They were yelling at each other, but I wasn’t sure what exactly they were talking about. Mom always says my leaves-dropping is a bad habit.

“You’re not right for him!” he snapped.

Allison shot him a look. “I don’t know what you want but you leave us alone you hear!”

My forehead crinkled up as I concentrated on listening. I grabbed some more cake, but even as I stuffed big pieces in my mouth I was more focused on what was going on with Allison.

Of course, right around that time Gerald suddenly seemed to appear out of nowhere. Guess he had to swoop in like Superman to save her from the bad man. Except, instead of going all hero on the bad guy, he started yelling at Allison instead and then some at the other guy who was called Ron. And the guy Ron kept saying the word love over and over again to Gerald and Allison started freaking out real bad, especially when Ron said that they’d apparently been sleeping together for years. I didn’t really understand what everyone was so angry about. I have sleepovers all the time and nobody gets mad, but everybody seemed all upset, especially Allison who went from tomato soup to stop sign red, and Gerald started stammering that he could explain.

Either way there was a lot of yelling and people started noticing something wasn’t quite right and soon there was more commotion and hollering. It’s funny cause mom always tells me that I’m not supposed to yell and I’m a big girl so I can talk in a normal voice, but for some reason all the adults got into their yelling and didn’t seem to notice that they were breaking the rules. And next thing I knew Allison was slapping Gerald, and then the guy Ron was punching at Allison, and suddenly he and Gerald were wrestling on the ground like me and daddy always used to do. And Allison was screaming and crying some more, but I wasn’t sure what that meant since she’d been crying all along.

Mom took me home sometime after that. And all I know now is that Allison and Gerald don’t see each other anymore, which is weird since they just got married. So I guess those vows things aren’t really that important after all. And I saw Gerald once at the mall having lunch with Ron, so I guess they still get to be friends and have sleepovers. But mom says I can’t talk about it, and all Allison says when I see her is that men are bass tards, which I still don’t understand and mom gets mad at me whenever I repeat it.

So that’s why I never ever want to get married. But mom says I might change my mind later. I think she’s got it all wrong.


Filed under Writing

4 responses to “I Do Not

  1. Gerry

    I laughed! Great writing 🙂

  2. LMBO at the last couple lines. bass tard… LOL This was really terrific! You could just picture it all. What a wonderful scandal. GREAT job, Emily.

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